I hate and love this picture because it depicts my life, to be specific my career life in equal measures.
I had my Sick and cranky son with me in the theatre because on that specific call week, I had no nanny, my able nanny was at a burial.my partner was away, we worked in different hospitals hundreds of kilometers apart. It was a weekend, so no colleague would have helped.
The understaffed Olkalou district hospital has only one doctor covering the hospital every night and all weekend. no nurse would have helped carry my temi, they were engaged in labour suite, the only available nurse covering the hospital had gone for a referral to Nakuru pgh. Eerything had worked to lead us here.I was three months pregnant. It was not the first time, this had happened severally, mostly when, like any mother, previous nannies would be overwhelmed by my call weeks.
I hate that I have my son in theatre when he should be well settled in his bed.
I hate that I was weak, tired and nauseous, and yet still yielded a knife in my hand.
I hate the fact I couldn’t refer this woman, the mother and baby wouldn’t have made it.
I love that they both lived.
I love that my nanny came back and rescued us.
I hate that, after three years of service to Olkalou District hospital, the county went ahead to deny me my well-deserved study leave despite sponsoring every other doctor therein with less years experience simply because, in their words, “what assurance did they have I’d return as a consultant? “.My last name is swaleh, not kamau,kinyanjui, karanja…. I was forced into a resignation.
I hate that the county is still rife with corruption, extravagance, buying Christmas trees worth 2 million each, instead of dealing with all these inadequacies, failed systems, instead of paying me my well deserved money.
I’ve neared that point where I’ll no longer care, I’ve given way too much of myself, my family, my kid, my marriage, my emotions, my health, to this failed system. Like a damaged lover who takes all the life from you and leaves you as a shell of your former self.this failed system keeps stealing my joy in this great profession.
Only the CBA can right these wrongs. It is not government pay doctors. No. For what is a full pocket if I still have to go through all these motions again?
It is, government implement the cba. Simple. I want my stolen joy restored.
Kenyans should be asking for their joy too.
Tell me how comfortable you would be seeing your pregnant surgeon carrying a cranky sick crying toddler.
Kobby Blay is the chief health editor at Ghanahealthnest.com. A professional practicing nurse with specialty in mental health and focus for health communications, public health, medical/documentary photography, ICT and systems perspective for health improvement.